I'm a female witch, who is married to a MtF transperson. Essentially making us a lesbian pagan couple. We have made these choices, we came out, we knew the possibilities, we knew how much harder it could make our lives. I don't really know which closet I stepped out of first. In school, everyone knew i was bisexual and that I practiced witchcraft. I didn't run around shouting it out down the halls, but I didn't deny it either. Why should I lie to fit in? In my family it was a different story. No one knew. I liked keeping it that way because for some reason, the two things that defined a major part of me, were "not right" in others eyes.
When I was 16 I moved half way across the country to live with my aunt. There, I could be myself. My little sister was pushed out of the closet at this time and some of the family was less than thrilled. I blew up. I told my sister, I supported her. I told the family if they had something to say they could say it to me because i was gay too. Not much was said about it after that. Me and two of my sisters are out of the closet.
I bring all this up, because despite the fact that we are older, more mature, better capable of handling whatever hate may come our way because of who we are, we still have that hate coming at us. Not everyone accepts Izzy. I have stood up for her at every turn, and lost family and friends because of it. Sadly, some of her family isn't accepting either. One family member in particular is very vocal about their disgust. Have they educated themselves about any of this? No. Will they listen to what we have to say? No. They are just a hateful toxic person who is part of this worlds problem. In high school, I was "baptized" by a group of girls who called me a devil worshipper and thought I was going to curse them. No matter what I said, they didn't hear it, and neither did the teacher.
It saddens me that such people exist. I know that they do, and I know that in my life I am sure to run into many more of them. I just wish that people could educate themselves more. Humans fear the unknown, they hate what they do not understand. When I say "education is the solution to the worlds problems" I really believe that. If everyone educated themselves about others beliefs, If religions learned of others beliefs, if different cultures learned about each other, Life would be better. Education can end the fear that causes so much hatred, violence, ignorance, and chaos.
I am a gay witch. For some people, reading that sentence will bring up anger and fear. Before you open you're mouth though, learn something about what it is to be gay, or pagan, or anything that isn't what you are. Maybe you'll learn, you're fear is ridiculous.
Monday, June 6, 2011
A rose by any other name
10 points to the Shakespeare lovers who finished that quote in their heads! Now to topic: Craft names. Also known as Magic(k) names or shadow names. Why would a person want a craft name? If you're still in the broom closet, you can keep your real identity secret when practicing with others or when online. Some people feel a stronger connection to their deities or their work when they use a craft name. Some covens give their members a craft name, or allow them to pick one at various stages of learning. Some people even have multiple craft names! One for the general public, one for their deities, one for their coven.
Do you have to have a craft name? No! You don't have to go picking a name out of a hat just yet. If you feel more comfortable using your own name then do it. I see it this way, what you do on your path, is your choice. No one can tell you you're doing it wrong because they aren't you, they are not on your path. Some people see using a craft name as silly and "fluffy", clearly I don't agree. To each his own. Again, I say, do what feels comfortable to you.
Now, if after some thought you have decided you want a Craft name, there are many ways you can go about finding one. You can meditate and just let it come to you. You can search baby name sites. If you want to choose a name by its meaning, baby name sites are a great way to do that. They have search bars that allow you to choose the specifics. Bog/girl, meaning, origin, etc. Some people choose a name through numerology, wanting their birth name and craft name to match numerically. Name generators can be helpful too. You can also ask a deity to help you by sending you a sign, or you can write a bunch of names or words you like on a piece of paper and use a pendulum to pick. There are tons of ways to decide.
To help you a little more, I'm going to explain my chosen name. Lynx Raine Amunet. This name took me years to decide upon. I actually went through a few names before I felt 100% comfortable with my name. How did I finally decide this was my name? Lynx is my spirit animal. So, I honor it with my name. Raine is actually just a shortened form of my given middle name, Lorraine. I chose Amunet, the name of the Egyptian goddess, female counterpart of Amun, and a protector of secrets. Oddly enough, Lynx is thought to be an animal who knows many secrets. So together, the name just suits me. For a little extra effort, I checked the numerology behind my names also. Why did I decide to use a craft name? I chose a name to separate my religious life from my day to day life, to make my religious life that much more special, and because my given name is much too common. Also, it does come in handy when around other pagans, or when online, such as now.
My wife is currently trying to find her craft name. Her beliefs are very Egyptian based, and so I see her finding something to that aspect for her name. Of course, I could be wrong! Picking a name can be hard or easy, it may take years or minutes. You may pick the right name the first time, you may go through twenty before you decide. Whatever happens, I hope this helps you in some way. Good luck to you.
~Lynx
Do you have to have a craft name? No! You don't have to go picking a name out of a hat just yet. If you feel more comfortable using your own name then do it. I see it this way, what you do on your path, is your choice. No one can tell you you're doing it wrong because they aren't you, they are not on your path. Some people see using a craft name as silly and "fluffy", clearly I don't agree. To each his own. Again, I say, do what feels comfortable to you.
Now, if after some thought you have decided you want a Craft name, there are many ways you can go about finding one. You can meditate and just let it come to you. You can search baby name sites. If you want to choose a name by its meaning, baby name sites are a great way to do that. They have search bars that allow you to choose the specifics. Bog/girl, meaning, origin, etc. Some people choose a name through numerology, wanting their birth name and craft name to match numerically. Name generators can be helpful too. You can also ask a deity to help you by sending you a sign, or you can write a bunch of names or words you like on a piece of paper and use a pendulum to pick. There are tons of ways to decide.
To help you a little more, I'm going to explain my chosen name. Lynx Raine Amunet. This name took me years to decide upon. I actually went through a few names before I felt 100% comfortable with my name. How did I finally decide this was my name? Lynx is my spirit animal. So, I honor it with my name. Raine is actually just a shortened form of my given middle name, Lorraine. I chose Amunet, the name of the Egyptian goddess, female counterpart of Amun, and a protector of secrets. Oddly enough, Lynx is thought to be an animal who knows many secrets. So together, the name just suits me. For a little extra effort, I checked the numerology behind my names also. Why did I decide to use a craft name? I chose a name to separate my religious life from my day to day life, to make my religious life that much more special, and because my given name is much too common. Also, it does come in handy when around other pagans, or when online, such as now.
My wife is currently trying to find her craft name. Her beliefs are very Egyptian based, and so I see her finding something to that aspect for her name. Of course, I could be wrong! Picking a name can be hard or easy, it may take years or minutes. You may pick the right name the first time, you may go through twenty before you decide. Whatever happens, I hope this helps you in some way. Good luck to you.
~Lynx
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Priest, Priestess, Poser
I'm sure we've all come across at least one. Unfortunately, there are plenty to be found. They give a bad name to the real Priests and Priestesses and other clergy of pagan faiths who have worked hard to attain their titles. So how then, can we weed out the impostors? I have a few tips, though not completely fool proof, they should help.
1. Fakes tend to be very vocal about their awesome knowledge and abilities, but when it comes time to prove it, they come up short. They brag about how great they are at seeing auras or their extensive knowledge of herbs. But then they tell you they cant see your aura for some reason, or that they've never heard of catnip tea for relaxation. Not everyone who is vocal about their gifts is a fraud though, so just pay close attention. Usually the real deal can easily prove they are.
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| "It's so fluffy i'm gonna die!" |
3. Use your judgement. If you meet someone who preaches away but won't let you give your two cents, move on. A real Priest/ess knows that their word is not law and that they can be wrong. If you find someone who claims they were given the title by their gods, be cautious. Wicca and many other pagan faiths require an initiation into a coven and much studying, learning, participation, and testing to gain such a title. There are those who believe you don't need a coven to tell you you're ready for such titles, I am one of them. But I also believe that holding a title is a big responsibility, not to be taken lightly, and requires A LOT of dedication.
Just use your brain before you start practicing with a complete moron.
To anyone who is interested in joining a coven or practicing with a group, keep these in mind and you should do alright. Also, if you live in an area where finding a pagan is like finding gold check out Witchvox. You can make a profile, post a listing, and find stores, clergy, get togethers, articles, and so much more. Good luck to you.
~Lynx
Friday, June 3, 2011
Meet Tali'Zorah
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| Tali'Zorah, making herself comfy on my lap |
Tali came to us when a woman found her on the street. Her fur was matted, she was skin and bones, she had no claws front or back, and she was scared. The woman couldn't keep her and posted on facebook. A friend of mine shared the link and I fell in love. I showed Izzy and said "I want this cat." Izzy argued with me for a bit, as we weren't allowed to have cats. I argued that we were moving anyway. She caved and the next morning went to get our newest family member. Well, if she hadn't been fully sold on the idea of getting a cat, Tali swayed her opinion quickly. She purred like a jack hammer when Izzy picked her up!
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| Don't mind the toy tornado in the background :) |
This kitty is the perfect fit for our family, and I think she feels the same way. We're lucky to have her.
Do you have any special furry friends?
~Lynx
Thursday, June 2, 2011
What's for dinner?
A couple days ago I tried a new recipe using grape jelly, chili sauce, and meatballs. This recipe has been around for a long time but its new to me! Well, It went great and so I have decided to try it again tonight and change it just a bit to make it more of a meal. Here's what I'm gonna do:
8oz grape jelly
12oz chili sauce
Hawaiian bread (you can find it in the bakery section usually or just use hot dog buns)
shredded mozzarella cheese
Meatballs! (I use Armour original meatballs, a small bag)
Take the grape jelly and heat it in a pot on low. stir occasionally. While that heats, set the oven to 350 and put all the meatballs on a cookie sheet in a single layer. cook for about 15 minutes.
Once the jelly is a little more liquidy, pour in the chili sauce and stir together, continuing to heat on low.
When the meatballs are done, take them out and pour them into the sauce. Go ahead and turn the heat off.
Take the hawaiian bread (or whatever you're using) and open it up, sprinkle a little shredded mozzarella cheese in and place a few sauce covered meatballs.
Voila! You have a delicious meatball sandwich thats a little sweet, and a little saucy. If you want something with more of a kick, you can put in crushed red pepper flakes, hot sauce, or cayenne pepper.
My kids LOVE these things and I doubt we will have any leftovers. These are also great by themselves as an appetizer for parties.
Enjoy!
~Lynx
8oz grape jelly
12oz chili sauce
Hawaiian bread (you can find it in the bakery section usually or just use hot dog buns)
shredded mozzarella cheese
Meatballs! (I use Armour original meatballs, a small bag)
Take the grape jelly and heat it in a pot on low. stir occasionally. While that heats, set the oven to 350 and put all the meatballs on a cookie sheet in a single layer. cook for about 15 minutes.
Once the jelly is a little more liquidy, pour in the chili sauce and stir together, continuing to heat on low.
When the meatballs are done, take them out and pour them into the sauce. Go ahead and turn the heat off.
Take the hawaiian bread (or whatever you're using) and open it up, sprinkle a little shredded mozzarella cheese in and place a few sauce covered meatballs.
Voila! You have a delicious meatball sandwich thats a little sweet, and a little saucy. If you want something with more of a kick, you can put in crushed red pepper flakes, hot sauce, or cayenne pepper.
My kids LOVE these things and I doubt we will have any leftovers. These are also great by themselves as an appetizer for parties.
Enjoy!
~Lynx
Willpower
Today, while I was taking a shower and doing a little cleansing ritual, I realized that my wife and I have not had a cigarette in a week. This was one of my goals I had set in an attempt to live a healthier life. When I found out I was pregnant with Ember, I quit. Sadly, I picked up the bad habit again as my wife has had a much harder time quitting. Kind of like an alcoholic in a liquor store, sometimes the temptation is just too strong. Finally though, my wife and I decided enough excuses, it's time to quit. So we smoked our last cigarette and agreed not to buy another pack. Its amazing what a person can accomplish with willpower. We haven't used any patches or pills, we did it "cold turkey". Hopefully, this is the end and neither of us lights up again!
The reason why I bring this up is because, in witchcraft, willpower comes into play a lot. When you do a spell, you are basically willing something to happen. You focus energy, you direct it, you wish, you concentrate, you will it. Sometimes, we find ourselves turning to magick to help us solve our problems before we have done all we can. You want a job? then look for one, use your willpower and get up, get out, apply anywhere and everywhere. Don't turn to a job spell, asking the gods to bless you with the perfect job, when you won't help yourself. You want to be healthier? Don't get out your candles just yet! Sit down, and make a list of things you can do to become healthier. Losing weight, quitting smoking, eating better, exercising, going to a doctor and getting a check up. What do YOU need to do before you turn to magick? Decide, and then do it. Tell yourself that nothing will stop you from achieving this goal, and if you gain a pound instead of losing, or a job place doesn't call back, don't give up! Try again.
If you think you really need to turn to magick, then take all that willpower and direct it into your spell. You are strong, and you can do anything you put your mind too. I know this post is probably sounding a little more like a motivational poster, but it is true. I see so many people say "I can't" and really they are just destroying themselves. They aren't giving themselves a chance. If you start doubting yourself, its like planting a weed in a beautiful garden. Its going to over take the garden and soon you aren't just thinking you can't do it, you aren't doing it.
Sorry I got a bit preachy. Guess I put a bit too much willpower in there. Ha ha, get it? alright, alright I'll stop torturing you. Hope you enjoyed the post.
~Lynx
The reason why I bring this up is because, in witchcraft, willpower comes into play a lot. When you do a spell, you are basically willing something to happen. You focus energy, you direct it, you wish, you concentrate, you will it. Sometimes, we find ourselves turning to magick to help us solve our problems before we have done all we can. You want a job? then look for one, use your willpower and get up, get out, apply anywhere and everywhere. Don't turn to a job spell, asking the gods to bless you with the perfect job, when you won't help yourself. You want to be healthier? Don't get out your candles just yet! Sit down, and make a list of things you can do to become healthier. Losing weight, quitting smoking, eating better, exercising, going to a doctor and getting a check up. What do YOU need to do before you turn to magick? Decide, and then do it. Tell yourself that nothing will stop you from achieving this goal, and if you gain a pound instead of losing, or a job place doesn't call back, don't give up! Try again.
If you think you really need to turn to magick, then take all that willpower and direct it into your spell. You are strong, and you can do anything you put your mind too. I know this post is probably sounding a little more like a motivational poster, but it is true. I see so many people say "I can't" and really they are just destroying themselves. They aren't giving themselves a chance. If you start doubting yourself, its like planting a weed in a beautiful garden. Its going to over take the garden and soon you aren't just thinking you can't do it, you aren't doing it.
Sorry I got a bit preachy. Guess I put a bit too much willpower in there. Ha ha, get it? alright, alright I'll stop torturing you. Hope you enjoyed the post.
~Lynx
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Love is Love
This post is going to be a little different. Mombian is doing an LGBT blog event for June 1st and I have decided to participate. My family is different, but in an amazing way and I want to share that with you.
My wife, Isabell, is a MtF transperson who stole my heart in high school. Back then, she was a he and we were madly in love. I knew she was the person I wanted to spend my life with, to share my soul with. So, on October 13th, 2006; just a few months after we had graduated, we were married. That night, I got pregnant. We got our own place and struggled with bills and in November I saw the little line that confirmed our suspicions. It was a stressful and exciting time. We were newlyweds, already starting a family and trying to stay afloat. I didn't know whether to cry from fear or joy, but the smile on Isabell's face was all it took. We were going to be parents! We did all we could to prepare ourselves for the joyful chaos that was parenthood. But of course, no one is ever truly prepared for what life throws at them.
When our son was 3 months old, Isabell came out to me. I was shocked of course. But unlike many couples who have fallen apart when one essentially steps out of their gender, we grew stronger. I had a lot of questions, and I remember how scared she looked as she told me how she's felt about her body all these years, how looking in the mirror was like looking at a stranger. I can't imagine what that must feel like, nor what living with a woman as my partner would be like. I just let her know that no matter what, I would always love her.
I am bisexual, but really, I don't think that's what makes me so okay with all of this. I don't see gender, I see soul. Isabell has a beautiful soul. She's shy and creative and loving. When someone needs help, she's there, no questions asked. Every day she has new and amazing ideas of how to make the world better. She supports me in all that I do, even when the odds are against me, she believes in me. She loves our kids, and the smiles on their faces when she walks into the room shows it. When we argue, she still tells me she loves me, and she'll still call me on her lunch break at work to brighten my day. No matter what we go through, no matter what people may say about us, we stand together, stronger than ever, and I never doubt our love. When you find someone like that, you don't call it quits over something as silly as gender. That's like ending a marriage because you're partner forgot you're cat's birthday. At least, its the same in my mind.
Isabell and I have been through a lot in the five and a half years we have been together. There were times where I questioned if we could make it. We even separated for a few months. They were the worst months of my life. Now, we have a deal, we will never quit trying. We will always be there for each other. We will always talk open and honestly. And If all else fails, we will get counseling. If that fails, we will decide what to do. It has worked. You're view on things changes when you go from being unsure, to saying "I am sure and I'm not going to give up without a fight".
She is on hormone replacement therapy, and lives full time as a woman now. Sometimes when we go out, people give us dirty looks, or talk about us like we can't hear them. Isabell just lowers her head and tries to ignore it. I glare and try not to punch them right in their ignorant faces. They don't see what I see, they don't feel what we feel. They may never understand, and that is their loss. We even get the remarks "Their children are going to be faggots". That word, makes me want to vomit, right along with the "N" word. It amazes me that such hateful, ignorant people can exist, and say such cruel words about a child no less.
Our children, Vincent and Ember, are wonderful. They call Isabell "Ma" and though they are still too young (ages 4 and 2) to understand everything they show no issues with daddy becoming ma. Vincent loves cars and dinosaurs and catching bugs. Ember loves playing with dolls and wearing dresses and getting her fingernails painted. They seem "normal", but if they grow up to be gay, we will love them no less. We will support them, and encourage them to do what makes them happy and love who makes them happy. We are going to be open and honest with them. We will teach them about straight and gay relationships. I know we can't shield them from the world, all we can do is try to prepare them for the love, and the hate, that it has to offer.
We hope that our own love will be a guide for them of what true love is. To show that gender does not matter, its what is inside that counts. To show that no matter what, they will be loved by us and someday by a special someone who they will want to spend the rest of their lives with. I want them to know, and anyone reading this to know, that Love is Love and nothing is stronger than that.
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| Isabell and I on our 4 year wedding anniversary |
My wife, Isabell, is a MtF transperson who stole my heart in high school. Back then, she was a he and we were madly in love. I knew she was the person I wanted to spend my life with, to share my soul with. So, on October 13th, 2006; just a few months after we had graduated, we were married. That night, I got pregnant. We got our own place and struggled with bills and in November I saw the little line that confirmed our suspicions. It was a stressful and exciting time. We were newlyweds, already starting a family and trying to stay afloat. I didn't know whether to cry from fear or joy, but the smile on Isabell's face was all it took. We were going to be parents! We did all we could to prepare ourselves for the joyful chaos that was parenthood. But of course, no one is ever truly prepared for what life throws at them.
When our son was 3 months old, Isabell came out to me. I was shocked of course. But unlike many couples who have fallen apart when one essentially steps out of their gender, we grew stronger. I had a lot of questions, and I remember how scared she looked as she told me how she's felt about her body all these years, how looking in the mirror was like looking at a stranger. I can't imagine what that must feel like, nor what living with a woman as my partner would be like. I just let her know that no matter what, I would always love her.
I am bisexual, but really, I don't think that's what makes me so okay with all of this. I don't see gender, I see soul. Isabell has a beautiful soul. She's shy and creative and loving. When someone needs help, she's there, no questions asked. Every day she has new and amazing ideas of how to make the world better. She supports me in all that I do, even when the odds are against me, she believes in me. She loves our kids, and the smiles on their faces when she walks into the room shows it. When we argue, she still tells me she loves me, and she'll still call me on her lunch break at work to brighten my day. No matter what we go through, no matter what people may say about us, we stand together, stronger than ever, and I never doubt our love. When you find someone like that, you don't call it quits over something as silly as gender. That's like ending a marriage because you're partner forgot you're cat's birthday. At least, its the same in my mind.
Isabell and I have been through a lot in the five and a half years we have been together. There were times where I questioned if we could make it. We even separated for a few months. They were the worst months of my life. Now, we have a deal, we will never quit trying. We will always be there for each other. We will always talk open and honestly. And If all else fails, we will get counseling. If that fails, we will decide what to do. It has worked. You're view on things changes when you go from being unsure, to saying "I am sure and I'm not going to give up without a fight".
She is on hormone replacement therapy, and lives full time as a woman now. Sometimes when we go out, people give us dirty looks, or talk about us like we can't hear them. Isabell just lowers her head and tries to ignore it. I glare and try not to punch them right in their ignorant faces. They don't see what I see, they don't feel what we feel. They may never understand, and that is their loss. We even get the remarks "Their children are going to be faggots". That word, makes me want to vomit, right along with the "N" word. It amazes me that such hateful, ignorant people can exist, and say such cruel words about a child no less.
Our children, Vincent and Ember, are wonderful. They call Isabell "Ma" and though they are still too young (ages 4 and 2) to understand everything they show no issues with daddy becoming ma. Vincent loves cars and dinosaurs and catching bugs. Ember loves playing with dolls and wearing dresses and getting her fingernails painted. They seem "normal", but if they grow up to be gay, we will love them no less. We will support them, and encourage them to do what makes them happy and love who makes them happy. We are going to be open and honest with them. We will teach them about straight and gay relationships. I know we can't shield them from the world, all we can do is try to prepare them for the love, and the hate, that it has to offer.
We hope that our own love will be a guide for them of what true love is. To show that gender does not matter, its what is inside that counts. To show that no matter what, they will be loved by us and someday by a special someone who they will want to spend the rest of their lives with. I want them to know, and anyone reading this to know, that Love is Love and nothing is stronger than that.
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