Love is Love

This post is going to be a little different. Mombian is doing an LGBT blog event for June 1st and I have decided to participate. My family is different, but in an amazing way and I want to share that with you.

Isabell and I on our 4 year wedding anniversary

My wife, Isabell, is a MtF transperson who stole my heart in high school. Back then, she was a he and we were madly in love. I knew she was the person I wanted to spend my life with, to share my soul with. So, on October 13th, 2006; just a few months after we had graduated, we were married. That night, I got pregnant. We got our own place and struggled with bills and in November I saw the little line that confirmed our suspicions. It was a stressful and exciting time. We were newlyweds, already starting a family and trying to stay afloat. I didn't know whether to cry from fear or joy, but the smile on Isabell's face was all it took. We were going to be parents! We did all we could to prepare ourselves for the joyful chaos that was parenthood. But of course, no one is ever truly prepared for what life throws at them.

When our son was 3 months old, Isabell came out to me. I was shocked of course. But unlike many couples who have fallen apart when one essentially steps out of their gender, we grew stronger. I had a lot of questions, and I remember how scared she looked as she told me how she's felt about her body all these years, how looking in the mirror was like looking at a stranger. I can't imagine what that must feel like, nor what living with a woman as my partner would be like. I just let her know that no matter what, I would always love her.

I am bisexual, but really, I don't think that's what makes me so okay with all of this. I don't see gender, I see soul. Isabell has a beautiful soul. She's shy and creative and loving. When someone needs help, she's there, no questions asked. Every day she has new and amazing ideas of how to make the world better. She supports me in all that I do, even when the odds are against me, she believes in me. She loves our kids, and the smiles on their faces when she walks into the room shows it. When we argue, she still tells me she loves me, and she'll still call me on her lunch break at work to brighten my day. No matter what we go through, no matter what people may say about us, we stand together, stronger than ever, and I never doubt our love. When you find someone like that, you don't call it quits over something as silly as gender. That's like ending a marriage because you're partner forgot you're cat's birthday. At least, its the same in my mind.

Isabell and I have been through a lot in the five and a half years we have been together. There were times where I questioned if we could make it. We even separated for a few months. They were the worst months of my life. Now, we have a deal, we will never quit trying. We will always be there for each other. We will always talk open and honestly. And If all else fails, we will get counseling. If that fails, we will decide what to do. It has worked. You're view on things changes when you go from being unsure, to saying "I am sure and I'm not going to give up without a fight".

She is on hormone replacement therapy, and lives full time as a woman now. Sometimes when we go out, people give us dirty looks, or talk about us like we can't hear them. Isabell just lowers her head and tries to ignore it. I glare and try not to punch them right in their ignorant faces. They don't see what I see, they don't feel what we feel. They may never understand, and that is their loss. We even get the remarks "Their children are going to be faggots". That word, makes me want to vomit, right along with the "N" word. It amazes me that such hateful, ignorant people can exist, and say such cruel words about a child no less.

Our children, Vincent and Ember, are wonderful. They call Isabell "Ma" and though they are still too young (ages 4 and 2) to understand everything they show no issues with daddy becoming ma. Vincent loves cars and dinosaurs and catching bugs. Ember loves playing with dolls and wearing dresses and getting her fingernails painted. They seem "normal", but if they grow up to be gay, we will love them no less. We will support them, and encourage them to do what makes them happy and love who makes them happy. We are going to be open and honest with them. We will teach them about straight and gay relationships. I know we can't shield them from the world, all we can do is try to prepare them for the love, and the hate, that it has to offer.

We hope that our own love will be a guide for them of what true love is. To show that gender does not matter, its what is inside that counts. To show that no matter what, they will be loved by us and someday by a special someone who they will want to spend the rest of their lives with. I want them to know, and anyone reading this to know, that Love is Love and nothing is stronger than that.